Questions of Self [Haku]

[Makoto Kiyoshi]

There were times when even Makoto questioned himself. Times when he felt fed up with the meaninglessly slow drawl of daily life. When reflections of the past haunted his dreams and burrowed into his brain's thoughts. Being an accomplished jounin didn't matter. Having the respectable position amongst the ranks of Kumogakure wasn't enough to lessen the impact of nightmares. Such shadows weren't escaped easily by any ninja. Even when the emotions were buried, ignored, or outright killed off. Occurrences like that influenced a man to become what he was rooted into the very recesses of his soul. To take such a thing away was to leave him with a hole in his being. The same as taking away a part of who he was. Which is what led Makoto to his current situation.

After all, there was always room for improvement in Makoto’s mind. It didn’t matter if it was in the form of conditioning the body’s physical and spiritual energies or seeking mastery of skills and jutsu at his disposal. The jounin dreaded the idea of his skills stagnating or deteriorating. This mindset, coupled with the sense of restless unease a few hours prior, led Makoto to his current spot on the side of a mountain very, very far above the ground. Earlier, only his sheer strength of will fueled him. Making the task challenging and difficult even by his standards, the standards of an experienced jounin. Now, he struggled to use chakra control as a support.

Currently, only his skill and well roundness kept him from falling to an uneventful death. Chakra rooted him to the side of the mountain and Makoto was careful in his concentration to not slip. The mountain was slippery after all, night's cold lingered and early morning dew had begun to collect on the rocks' edges. A brief lapse in attention would spell the end of all his hard work. Makoto was determined to not let this happen as he'd yet to reach a point that he was satisfied with. The man had yet to even begin a legacy to leave behind, let alone master his art to an extent that he was content with.

The clouds that drifted by only made things more difficult as they weighed down his attire with moisture that could have been otherwise avoided. The shadows even tried to play tricks on his mind and unlike genjutsu they were not as easily seen through. The man's lungs had already begun to struggle, heaving for the oxygen to continue, but he refused to give in and kept control of his breath lest he tire out even quicker. The burning in his body had dulled to an ache, but it felt as if he was much heavier than he should be and his movements were becoming sluggish. It was as if his bones and muscle had been replaced with solid metal, heavy and unbending, at this point.

Still, Makoto pushed onward. The jounin was determined to tire himself out to a point where the memories would be unable to bother him through a haze of fatigue. However, despite his determination the top was still far from his reach. After all, the man hadn't even been able to see the summit earlier. That had been one of the main reasons he'd chosen this one to climb. Uncharted territory and a struggle he knew that would push him to his limits. There was no room for weakness. He was as much an experiment as the ones he found and took on in his free time. Every equation he put himself into also effected him. He could not deny that he was on the same exact level as other variables.

With all the thoughts brought a lack of concentration. A sudden wind blew and a rock crumbled under Makoto’s grasp. His chakra control had weakened and he lost it completely as he momentarily reeled in a stunned silence. Time seemed to slow as sudden realization struck him with the force of a hammer. Everything became frightenly clear, from the surrounding clouds to every groove on the rocky surface he was scaling. He noticed that the top only loomed just a fit further above him and Makoto was able to take in the entire situation in a mere instant.

He was going to fall? To die? And…when the top was so close. He had yet to even properly instruct a genin team. What now? “Don’t think, just move!” Makoto heard the voice of his previous teachers suddenly shout at him. His hands clapped together and formed the snake seal. Every moment counted. Chakra returned to his feet with renewed control and his body started to harden as thick and strong as the mountain he was trying to scale. Hands, now darkened by the effects of his jutsu, slammed back into the wall with a burst of strength and willpower. The rocky face crumbled and rocks fell, but Makoto held strong to resist the decent. His fall stopped after only a few moments and then with a second wind Makoto forced his tired body to keep climbing.

Finally, his hand slapping upon a flat surface gave way to a mix of relief and accomplishment. He pulled himself up and practically rolled onto the top. For a while, Makoto just laid there simply relishing in the sense of accomplishment he had. Hands and feet still held the lingering blood from before he hardened his body and his whole body dripped with the sweat of his exertion and dew from the clouds. Makoto knew he should have felt the sting from sweat touching his cuts, but he must have been too loaded with adrenaline to feel it. No, instead he just felt like he was a conscious mind riding in another body. Faintly, he could hear a gasping sound before he realized it was coming from him. He tried to relax and struggled to take deep breaths instead of quick ones in an attempt to calm his breathing faster.

The sun was beginning to rise, illuminating the area around him, but in his somber mood he didn't feel like waiting to watch. He didn't waste time in sinking into the ground. With a simple earth technique he found himself pulling out of the base of the mountain where he's started his climb. Then, he let himself collapse. The man's mind went delightfully blank of thoughts, good and bad. So he just stayed there as the sun started to rise.

[Haku]

Haku walked up to the mountain by a more or less useable path his wooden shoes clicking softly over the stones and gravel mixed with dirt. He was making no effort to cover his tracks nor hide is presence from any one who was interested to fallow him. He wanted to the see the world from a mountains great height. It was so different from the land of his birth and was fascinating for that reason. Haku was dressed in his causal pink kimino with his hair tied up into a thick bun at the nape of his neck. He felt the air getting colder the closer he got to the mountain although it was still quite warm for the spring. As he approached the base of the mountain the sun came peeking up over the horizon and bathed the scene in a warm if dim light. Haku smiled he loved the morning when it was sunny and cool, he didn't really like the heat all that much though he didn't mind the cold.

Having reached the base of the mountain Haku stopped for a moment to look around and get his bearings. The mountain towered high above him and he gasped audibly in the face of the sheer size of thing.Haku gaped wide eyed with astonishment and wonder at a thing that big and formidable."Wow! I don't think i've ever seen something that big before in my life." Haku was dying to ask questions about the country and the mountain. What sorts of people lived there and were they friendly to travelers. Haku looked to his left and saw a man just lying there not moving and a sensitive spot in Haku was touched he felt the urge to ask the man if he was alright and if he needed any assistance. Haku tried to observe him from his position but all he got was that he though the man was older and taller then himself and that he didn't appear to be moving.Haku approached curiously deliberately making noise as his feet clicked across the stones to where the man lie.

" Excuse me sir are you alright do you require assistance? Are you hurt?"Haku knelt down to carefully look the man over of any obvious injuries or bruises." I'm called Yuki and my father has trained me in basic first aid sir. I'm afraid i didn't bring my kit with me though, I'm sorry. I really should have father is always telling me to do so." Haku held out his small hand to help the man up if he needed it. His hands and feet had nails painted a lovely shade of green although the paint on his fore finger might need to be redone soon. Haku made a mental note to fix the polish on his hands. Haku smiled reassuringly to the man.

[Makoto Kiyoshi]

At some point Makoto had blacked out, face pressed against the ground covered in blond locks of hair. Still awake, but not fully aware. Eyes open, but not seeing the landscape that stretched on behind a curtain of pale gold. Neither the sunrise's light nor warmth was enough to stir him from his exhaustion. Deep down, the jounin dreaded the moment he would come back into full awareness. Should the plague of thoughts begin to torment his mind once more, he would have to push his exhausted body further to seek refuge. Makoto doubted that beside that or meditation would help. Even meditation was a stretch as it required some form of calm. Makoto may be too distracted or restless for it to be effective.

So when the precise tremors of someone approaching made them self know by traveling into his body, he was not happy with the awareness they automatically spurred within his consciousness. He was a ninja and jounin level. To make it this far meant he had to hold a sense of possible danger. A tense readiness at any given time. The healthy human mind doesn't wake up in the morning thinking this is its last day on Earth. However, when one had been in enough battles, in enemy territory for a certain amount of time, or suffered the fear of being on the run things stuck. Even so, Makoto considered it more a luxury generally. Not a curse. To know one was so close to the end is a kind of freedom. Good time to get to know the ins and outs of your own self.

A single hazel eye caught her (or was he a male?) form, tracing over it for any weapons out of self preservation. The steps that happened upon him would never have alerted his instincts if they were 'normal'. Ninja and civilian walked differently. The softness of step, the way they carried themselves, and the manner in which they moved were all different. Shinobi could make themselves silent or make themselves known, but it was difficult to always hide the traces. Especially, when one knew exactly what to look for. Yet, he (she?) had only offered aid. So there was no imminent threat. Only a bit of confusion and interest. Makoto himself would be considered androgynous in looks but his voice was enough to distinguish him as an obvious male. This boy, however, held nothing like that. His gender could be the opposite of a guess.

A unique and interesting specimen to his eye. So the man shifted, pushing himself from the ground. Then Makoto accepted the offered appendage to help him up a bit more into a wobbly stand. He held the boy's hand a bit longer than necessary, taking silent notice of the fingernail polish before letting go. Then he took a few steps back to lean against the mountain's rocky surface. For such a harmless act, it told him plenty. Makoto didn't miss the calluses on her hand and fingers pointing to the signs of senbon use. She most likely had some hidden on her person as well. A wandering medic ninja perhaps? Fascinating, but irrelevant. There was no need to stain his hands with the blood from someone without reason. So he stood there trying to gather his bearings and saying nothing.

At some point his hair had come undone and fell around his head in a disheveled mess. It probably added to the weak and helpless look state he seemed to be in. Though such a state did not bother him. Hopefully, whoever this was wouldn't bother with him anyway. Though not helpless, he was far from his peak. Finally, he spoke, a deep baritone that sounded uninterested, "You should listen to your father, he sounds like a smart man." Makoto then tried to take a few unsteady steps in the direction of the village. Only to nearly fall, barely catching himself. The jounin was still tired.

[Haku]

Haku struggled not to pull away before the man released his hand, for the voice told him it was a man grasping his hand. His grip was firm and used his own arm and weight for leverage. Haku fought not to squirm and blush as the man looked at his hand and seemed to eye his nail polish. The first thing he notice about the man helping him stand up was his height. The man was taller then he was by about 10 inches or so.

Haku tilted his head up to look him in the eyes and shifted so that he could take a look under that silly bang. It was obscuring one eye and part of his face and it bothered Haku he preferred to look people in the eye. Haku smiled in a silly manner and outwardly relaxed when the man let go of his hand. It unnerved him to be in so close of contact to an unknown male for so long. He hoped the the male believed that he was all together harmless. He didn't fancy having a fight with this one he didn't seem up for it and frankly it wasn't Haku's style anyway.

Haku tilted his head as he looked at the man leaning against the mountain side and assessed him as he moved passed him slowly. He agreed readily to the suggestion that he should listen to his father."Yes sir.I will do so in future, I promise." Haku smiled as he agreed with the man an began to fallow him off the mountain by his own decision. He didn't know where the man was going but he didn't like how the man was walking. He thought he might just fallow him and see him home safely. It concerned him that he seemed so wobbly and unsure of himself. Haku moved like lighting when the jounin stumbled and almost fell although he righted himself well enough.

He thought the man must not be well if he was walking so unsteady and that fit to stumble. He was at his side in a moment,literally the blink of an eye.One minute he was walking a few feet behind the man just fallowing him back to the village the next he was right beside him.Haku got close enough to support him with practiced ease, keeping step with him and using his own body to steady the man should he fall or stumble again."Are you alright sir?Lean on me, i wont let you fall sir."Haku eyed the man as he walked beside him as a steady rock solid support. He saw weariness and a bone crushing something behind it, his heart ached for those who hurt like that.

"may i ask what the country is around here and what village that is? Also does this mountain have a name or is it just called the mountain by the locals?" Haku chatted on as soon as he could think up a new question to ask excited to see a mountain for what was likely the first time up close. Haku had determined to fallow the man and make sure he got home safe at least. He wouldn't want him to fall down and brake himself would he?

[Makoto Kiyoshi]

Makoto let out a weary sigh when the boy didn't continue on his way and instead chose to hover near him. The boy's "father", and Makoto used that word lightly, should also try to instill a bit of common sense into him. Wandering around randomly within the mountains, happening and offering help to complete strangers, and then choosing to follow the stranger. If this person was a boy it was probably be for the best as well as the fact that he was trained. To be a girl and acting in such a way would end far from well in due time. To be so sure of himself, his training must have been fairly well rounded. However, just where was the boy's father in the first place? Makoto could think up of a dozen scenarios that didn't bode well for him without even trying...Yet, there was nothing else walking the immediate area aside from the boy and himself.

"Father." The word suddenly brought back the memories the jounin was trying to suppress. Try as he might and as much as he wished, the happy times with his own sire where outweighed by the bad. Makoto would even go as far as to say that the time he actually spent as a child was shorter than average. A child couldn't carry on that man's legacy. A boy wasn't fit to share dinner. The positive praises had faded too early. They shifted to criticism and then scathing remarks. A genin wasn't a high enough rank to be noticed as his flesh and blood despite the speed in which it had been achieved. Worst of all, Makoto hated the fear, the envy, and the jealousy. That so called 'boy' he was had started to become too skilled too fast. That weapon was no longer a child, it merely held the form of one.

Makoto sudden shifted to the side, using the mountain as a support. There were no outward signs of the turmoil the thoughts caused, but inside he buzzed with emotions. Feelings that he was too inexperienced with to dissect and analyze. Having been smothered for so long they jumped at the chance to be noticed. Still, the shinobi ignored them. Willed them back into the recesses of his being. No, Makoto didn't have a father. That man may as well have been a stranger. An outsider to Makoto's life. A symbol of everything that had been ripped from him. He leaned further against the wall of rock, the weight of his whole body making his stiff arm shake in strain. Makoto needed to calm down. Often times he merely ignored the memories and they fled, hesitant to have his ire unleashed upon them. Sometimes, he wore himself out and faded into a peaceful oblivion for a time.

Neither of those options had worked. So now, he would be forced to meditate. Think over them, study them and how they had made him who he was today. While the man wasn't scared, he considered this option the last merely because it was the most tedious and time consuming. The results lasted for days after as well. See the faults of the past, acknowledge how they changed him, and be reminded how he used to be. Perhaps the last was the most troubling. Makoto wasn't even sure if he 'liked' who he had been. Should he accept that past and seek a road of redemption that would bring out the self he'd thrown away? Or should he scorn and further distance himself from it. To walk the former path would mean that people would see him more than just a puppet or some monster, maybe even see a human. Yet, to accept that weakness he had back then; emotions. To walk the latter meant become more of a monster.

That Makoto feared. To forsake anything within that was remotely human. Give himself over to nothing. Become empty and void. He was honestly content to remain as an inbetween even if his current predicament was the result of that. So the man straightened after a couple of minutes as if he had caught a second wind and continued. Somehow and for reasons unknown the boy had appeared by his side in his dwelling of the past. The young man now supported him with a practiced ease that made Makoto raise a covered eyebrow. The man no longer felt the need to tip toe around with this boy any longer. They were both aware of the other and they both knew it. Yet, neither chose to engage. Makoto was tired and he needed honest conversation. Insight would also reveal to him secrets of the specimen that was assisting him. Though he could piece together everything, sometimes honesty was rewarded with honesty.

"Curious, you're kind. Just how many times has your father told you to kill this compassion?" How many times had the man told him to throw away his heart? Why had the boy not do so either. So many questions. Makoto almost felt the need to test his hypothesis. If he attacked, would he wake later in the day to find the boy gone. The man wasn't unaware of the more idealistic ninja. He'd met a couple from his own village, but to find one from other? Or possibly a discarded which was found and taken to be of use? However, to scare off this being over something so minor didn't sit well with him. Even as he spoke, he changed their course subtly. Since the boy was intent on helping, Makoto could not lead him to the village. So instead he shifted them in the direction where the landscape could be seen with a bit more clarity.

"If you're searching for one in particular, you and I both know, I can't and won't reveal it. However, there are a couple of small villages in the east." Blunt, bored, and the boy would also find his voice nonthreatening whilst fully calling off the charade. Whether they killed each other the boy could choose, but they would both die.

[Haku]

The words he never was excepting had come out of the stranger's mouth. It hurt badly to be reminded that he wasn't good enough to be Zabuza's tool that he wouldn't be good enough. Haku stiffened in shock and all but shook with fear as the man calmly rounded upon him. His heart was torn in two and haku's almost none existent self preservation instinct was practically screaming for him to get out of there with all speed. This man knew something of him or at least could guess what was really going on and that made him a threat to him. Haku had spent years and years making enemies of everyone he met it was hard to be friends with them. Did this man really know something about him? He tired so hard to kill his heart when he cares too much about those he has never met. He wanted to kill the man for getting so close to the truth and he also wanted to run away so desperately and never look back. Every sense was on the alert and swirling with confusion.Haku had noticed the change in path but said nothing about it trusted the other man to know where they were going.

It was making Haku want to sink down onto the stones and cry bitter tears because in his heart he knew he'd failed with this one.His head hurt so much it made him want to scream and cry all the pain that the man had brought back up away. Haku wore a very stricken look on his face like he was about to fall over and faint dead away. Haku bit back a gasp as he tried to answer calmly and coolly when in side he was aching." I-I don't kn-ow what you mean sir.M-M-y father never told me that ever! I swear to you.You must be mistaken I'm sure." Haku schooled himself and mumbled under his breath" Too many to count..." Haku looked wide eye as the Country opened up before his eyes it was absolutely beautiful in the warming light."I-ts so pretty."He sighed and wished zabuza could have been standing there with him. Haku's legs wobbled slightly and he shifted to kneel and then to sit upon the ground looking up at the man."I'm sorry. I don't want to be a bother to you."

"why couldn't you reveal it? i just what to help you get home you dont look like you could manage it by yourself!" Haku protested in a high supously feminine voice which then dropped back down to a slightly lower pitch.His eyes widened in concerned and he almost managed to stand up in his rage fulled concern his nerves were badly shaken that he took a deep breathe and tryed to calm down as he stared up into the sky." oh dear i'm sorry. I-I didn't mean to presume sir.I'-i'm just concerned for your health if you fall down on this mountain you might not get up again." Haku turned bright red while staring at the ground for a moment he slumped forward hiding his face as he drew his knees up and his head down. His small sholders shook with the effort of holding back his tears and silent sobs. Haku rapped his arms around his knees. He looked young and small and utterly helpless and hopeless. Haku's hair swirled around his shoulders.

He looked up and glared with cold eyes that could freeze sunlight. It looked like all of the light went out of his life and he was drowning in a sea of despair. "He loves me okay you don't know my father he does love me. He's just strict he wants me to be his perfect weapon. I am His!" he almost hissed the words through his teeth. He didn't know who he was trying to convince himself or the man not that it mattered very much.

[Makoto Kiyoshi]

Makoto didn't even have the decency to react in anyway other than he already established himself as from the beginning; calm and collected, albeit tired. The fact that his words cut deep into the boy at his side, unnerving him greatly and perhaps even turning him into a potential enemy, was not paid any heed. His face revealed nothing either so it was impossible to tell what he was thinking. Having shifting their path, he simply shuffled onward without missing a step. It was as if the words that left his mouth were completely normal. One would liken his actions and previous tone of voice more suited to a simple discussion of the weather.

However, Makoto did take note of how the boy's reactions. To say they were merely interesting was an shockingly strong understatement. The numerous responses that flowed and shifted between one another erratically spoke volumes. Makoto had hit some kind of nerve by mistake without any mercy. Due to the close contact, nothing could be withheld from Makoto's senses. Not with the boy in such a state, having basically been caught flatfooted. Just how harsh was the boy's father for what he said to cause so much grief? The reaction looked so familiar, but Makoto couldn't seem to find and isolate why.

Makoto attempted to ignore the nagging sense that it should be obvious as they continued on their way. Yet, he could find nothing else to distract himself. The tension that had settle over the boy was practically palpable now. The jounin quickly found himself reassessing both the boy and the man that the young one called father. The denial that followed was downright pathetic. No much social interaction in general or not with experienced ninja aside from his father? The land finally opened up in front of their eyes, a beautiful scene of chaotic order, but Makoto wasn't distracted enough by a picture he'd seen painted so many times to miss the whispered admission.

Watching the boy settle into a seat and anguish to himself, Makoto shrugged in response. If the young man didn't want to be a bother then he wouldn't be. Makoto didn't care. As he settled into his own disciplined seiza style sitting, he considered the boy's words carefully. To reveal a hidden village to an enemy that could bring harm was foolish and the boy should know that. Even if this capacity for kindness was not a ruse, Makoto was unable to risk it. The jounin would find his way back anyway, he didn't need a boy's help for that. If this was a ruse, it was a convincing one. Still, the boy talked too much, worried too much, and for the wrong people. Such selflessness could be exploited by enemies. Should Makoto have been more directly dangerous instead of passive, the folly would have already been used.

Then at the final words, Makoto pieced together the similarities. Shockingly enough, they were in comparison to himself. However, they were vastly different in reasoning. To think that Makoto had found a boy that reminded him of himself. Such a thought was unnerving to say the least. They shared physical traits such as androgynous characteristics and mental torment derived from father figures. Makoto had broken free of his need to be perfect within his father's eyes though. This boy had not. Even statistics would point to such a happening never occurring within a lifetime. The jounin would have honestly admitted to his chances being higher in winning the lottery before today.

With a sigh, he realized that somehow he had managed to turn the boy into a scapegoat for his own previous problems. Although there had to be some truth in the boy's words. His father probably did need him, more so than either of them realized. Ninja couldn't block themselves completely from baser desires and needs as they were still human. The need for companionship was almost essential in their chosen profession. However, the boy's mind was still warped. Not broken per say, but twisted in a way that conformed to fit best with the father. A basic use of subtle brain washing in Makoto's eye, but who was he to deny it? It didn't concern him in the slightest. The jounin held little doubt that should anyone threaten this dream world the boy lived in, they would be the focus of a fierce retaliation as well.


"I never said he didn't care for you." The man most likely did too, otherwise he wouldn't have bothered trying to smother the boy's peaceful nature. That doubt in the boy's voice pointed to that he didn't often show it though. "Yet should you push yourself as a weapon so much, you will end up breaking. You will dull. You will rust. You will chip. Then you will shatter and hold no worth. To take care of him means to also take care of yourself." The boy was, in the end, still only human.

[Haku]

Haku looked distressed as the man finished and really ready to attempt to kill him."If i am fated to shatter then i will spend my last moments with him, in his service if i can manage to get him to let me. If i break i shall more then likely die that day for i will no longer be of use to him. My whole being is centered around him I live for him and if allowed i would happily die for him. If he was to leave me behind i don't know what i do,starve to death maybe. if he should die before me i think i would go on a murderous rampage or mock one to get someone to kill me.Or i could go in the other direction and break entirely which wouldn't be pretty."Haku had stopped crying by this time and looked up to glare at the man implying that he would never be good enough to please 'father'." I will just have to try harder now to be the most perfect weapon he ever had, its all I'm good at. So that he will never just throw me away. I was raised to be his weapon from since i could remember." Or cared to remember in his case, he didnt want to remember the time before zabuza found him. It was too painful for him to go through all of that over again.` Haku sighed and stood up having found his legs would hold him up now that he had calmed down somewhat.

He faced the jonin calmly speaking easily and respectfully" I'm going to the ninja village i know is located somewhere in these hills with or without your assistance.It weould be faster if you showed my where it was but i will find it eventually I'm sure. I need suppilies for myself and my father, more medicines and he wants some tools and weapons.It's not strictly nessacary that I tell you this but as you seem to be protective of the village i thought i should let you know of my intent.I want supplies and food no more no less, I swear i wont harm a living soul unless they give me cuase by attacking first. In which case i will defend my self by disabling them but not killing them. My methods can be quite painful i'm told though they aren't intended to kill usually though they could if i chose." Haku smiled with an impish smile on his face." i noticed that you felt my hand as you grasped it when i was helping you up, so you know I use needles regularly in my work as a medic for my father. I can use them for offense too."

Haku neglected to mention that the father in question was not his father and was in fact as far from it as you could get. He also niglected to mention his exact skills only mentioning his prowess with his chosen weapon becuase it was something the jounin might already know about. He moved off towards the village at a slow and some what uncertain pace as if he wasn't too sure of where he was going. Haku wondered if he was going to be stopped or merely fallowed by the man to make sure that he didnt do any harm. He was an unknown and haku didnt know what the man was capable of really. He supected he would soon find out one way or another, he just hoped the lesson wouldnt in volve him being pushed off the mountain or some such foolishness.

[Makoto Kiyoshi]

Makoto finally let out a deep sigh. Trying to get this boy to see and understand what he was saying was tiring and difficult. He was more convinced that his chances of asking a mountain to move would be easier. There was no sense of self preservation in this one. The jounin could point out every flaw in those statements. Despite how loyal and selfless the determined boy tried to make clear to him all he could see was foolishness. Makoto wasn't one to tell people how to live their lives though. In the end all he could do was offer them advice. If that was how the boy wanted to be, that's how he would be. For better or worse.

Still, for a man to twist such a specimen so thoroughly to fit into his own desires. Makoto had to give credit where credit was due. The boy's father surely wanted a puppet and a puppet is what stood before him right now. Then again, perhaps puppet wasn't the right word. To use it would have been saying that this boy had no dreams, passions, ideals, or anything else remotely giving individuality of mind. Servant was most likely more fitting. The boy said so himself. He was dedicated to his father. His dreams were to help his father's dreams. His passion was to fulfill every task set before him if it made his father happy. Makoto's human side found it endearing. The ninja side of him found it pathetic.

Makoto met the boy's glare with a blank look. The man held no fear of consequences or remorse for what he said. He could see the boy as a weapon. A good one, but perfection was impossible. The boy could protect, destroy, and heal. There was no reason he shouldn't be content with that. Yet still he pushed ever further to the breaking point and was proud of that. Watching him stand, Makoto raised an eyebrow curiously. Time for them to part ways already? He must have unnerved him greatly if the boy's wariness won over his heart. Makoto took in the follow promise to find his village with a pokerface that revealed nothing. Not even the boy calling him out for his earlier trickery fazed him.

Makoto didn't move, but waited for the boy to turn his back to him and walk a little ways away. Then he created a few seals. Slowly and carefully he ensnared the boy in a genjutsu. Nothing fatal and something incredibly hard to notice. "Kori Shinchū no Jutsu [Sly Mind Affect Technique]" The technique would sent him in a complete circle before happening upon Makoto once more. The jounin couldn't allow the boy to make it to the village. The child would pose danger to himself and to others despite his innocent claimed. So the jounin held firm to the tendrils of chakra that deceived him. Fed them so that they remained unnoticed long enough for the boy to make it back. He doubted that the boy would become entirely aware until he stumbled across Makoto once more.

A life for a life. Haku hadn't chosen to attack him and still seemed opposed to it. Makoto would give the same curtsy. And so the man waited and directed the boy back to where he could keep an eye on him.

[Haku]

Haku walk calmly forward feeling something rush by him like the wind on the mountain. Haku blinked and closed his eyes to feel its warm touch all around him.Opening his eyes slowly he waved back at the man who had as yet made no mood to fallow him. Haku kept an eye on him out of the corner of his eye but noticed nothing out of the ordinary.He started walking down the lightly beaten path looking right to left and trying to find a path that seemed see heavier use indicating that it would lead to the village. His eyes roamed every which way as he walked slowly down the path he had chosen. The path was made of dirt and small stones with vegetation growing along side it.He noticed the useable herbs in the sides of the path and felt the urge to stop and pick some but he had to find the path.

The child walked glassy eyed along the path that snaked around the mountain looking this way and that and yet not seeing a thing that passed his notice. In his present state he could walk passed the village or right through its main street and not know where he was. His eyes saw nothing as he almost sleep walked his way around the mountain up and and down the path heed less of the world around him. He was caught in a firmly in a blasted illusion and and he didn't know it, he though he was walking down the path to the village. He even saw the sign for it point in the right direction in his minds eye. Haku dreamily put out his hand as his body turned around zombie like and started back up the path. He even felt the wood of the sign it was so real for him.He calmly lowered his hand and walked back up the hill gracefully and with ease climbing over obstacle with out seeing them with all the grace of someone long practiced to be out in all terrains and weathers. He could do it in his sleep almost.

Haku sleep walked the last few steps up the hill a look of dreamy frustration evedinat on his face. In his dream he couldn't seem to get to the village no matter how many times that he tried to reach it he always seemed to get turned onto a wrong path. It was terribly frustrating and made him wonder why when he was actually a very good tracker did that keep happening to him. He was sure that he had found the right path when it just lead back to the sign again. He walked slowly up the mountain and came to rest in the exact same place he was before. Standing dreamily before the man he had been talking to a half hour before his breast heavily slightly with the effort of climbing up hill his eyes becoming more glazed with his proximity to the man increasing. Haku stood before him and yet his mind was wandering far away.

After about the seventh time of trying to get to the village he finally realized that this was probably an illusion because no matter what he tried nothing worked and he had tried every thing including attempt to use his mirrors to get there. He couldn't even by pass the sign that way and it was that repeating location that bothered him. Haku tried to remember how Zabuza told him to dispel illusion, pain or the dispel jutsu which he didn't know. Haku took a slender needle out of his beast pocket and as he did his real hand did the same although slower and very hesitatingly. Haku looked at his opposite wrist and found the pressure point that would deaden it for a time. With a calm assurance and a spinning flick he sent a senbon into his own wrist with deadly accuracy.

[Makoto Kiyoshi]

Makoto was left alone as the boy wandered off. The jounin made no move to go after him either. He was content to continue sitting where he was as he allowed the genjutsu to guide the boy back. Even now the man could still feel the subtle sway to the boy's perception under his control. Not even the minor drain on chakra reserve was enough to distract him from his own thoughts. His control over the technique was too practiced to be noticeable even in the state of recovery he was currently in. He had worked most of his jutsu to a second nature, each of them as natural as breathing now. Deployed without hesitation, requiring little concentration, draining only as much chakra as necessary for the desired effect.

With the boy no longer there to occupy him, his thoughts turned back to the only viable subject left. Himself. Once again his mind clouded over as a torrent of memories from the past assaulted him. Yet, the thoughts were deeper and even more unsettling than the last. The previous paled in comparison. Honestly, the man hated this cynical side of himself at these times. When it turned against him. When he analyzed himself with the same scrutiny he did to objects, ninja, civilians, and everything else that crossed his line of sight. When he saw the points that he didn't like in himself, the vices and weaknesses. This wasn't often, but it happened. Sometimes Makoto believed that it was because it didn't happen often enough. Which is why he wasn't numb to it.

A man that would spend his life, day after day, having one epiphany after another. Finding nothing in something and something in nothing, always thinking he finally figured out what had been holding him back and shackling him down. Then see how he can be productive, do something, and become creative enough to turn that existence around. Less thought more action, more growth. But nothing will ever change in his eyes. That's what Makoto saw in himself. It terrified him. That cycle of mediocrity wasn't due to some obstacle. It was who he had become. The thing standing in the way of his dreams or maybe the lack of dreams. Or the thing that made his existence as pointless and pessimistic as he believed it to be...was no one but himself. After, he would only delude himself further and go back to doing the same things with the same results.

And so the cycle would continue. Was it an accurate summation? Did any of this thought ever help his growth? Or was it just fears trying to break him? Right now he wasn't sure. And later he would block it out, unsure of following the train of though lest he find that they actually did hold true. If he was his own enemy then what hope did he have in defeating himself. Should he fight, would it not merely be an everlasting battle? If he lost, would he also lose his sense of self? If he actually won, would he not also destroy a part of him and remained weakened and stunted for the remainder of his life? Too much fear lied down that path of thoughts. Too much depended on the outcome of a task where the lines between failure and success were uncertain. Makoto couldn't even find the bravery to rush in and damn the consequences. He had too much to lose.

A sound behind him caused him to turn. The boy had made his way back. Makoto could feel the spike of his ire before it started to bubble behind his cold facade. The torment should have ended already. It never lasted this long. The only difference was the boy that had found him. The words they'd exchanged. The similarities and the differences he'd made between them. Unaware from the confines of the subtle illusion, the boy continued. Such a weakness to genjutsu. His father must have been novice in the subject. Makoto sighed as the boy continued only to find his way back once more. It was almost amusing. Almost. Should the boy have been a pupil or even a fellow ninja of Kumogakure's ranks it would have been. But he was neither. And that is why he was under the illusion in the first place.

Whereas Makoto had previously saw only the likeness between them, now he only saw the difference. A dedication to a man he called his father. A lack of self preservation. A heart that seemed too open to others. They were just a few of many. Those few were all it took to remind Makoto of himself when he was younger. Those few were enough to allow a turmoil of emotions to open old wounds. Another sighting and Makoto remembered all the failures because of an unguarded heart. Yet another and the regret began to bled from those old wounds. He was almost jealous of the boy. One thing to live for and dedicate himself to. Maybe Makoto should have tried that approach. Take refuge in a twisted nature. Then kill himself off when the thing he cared for were torn away. But it was foolish. And he could never tie himself down like that.

Companionship was such a complex thing. It gave power and weakened at the same time. Makoto had drifted away from his previous sensei because of it. He didn't know if he could handle the loss. Time would not fail in taking the old man. Even after closing off a bit to his respected teacher, would the blow still hurt as much as losing his team? The mere thought was dreadful enough. While he pondered, the man wondered when he'd become such a coward. The last time he'd shed tears was after killing his own father. The emptiness that had followed dried them. He had not let sorrow flow from his eyes since. The boy did so openly just prior. "Just what am I becoming?" Besides more confused by the second.

He gazed back at the boy yet again making another round, having lost count of how many times he'd passed. Makoto couldn't help, but raise an eyebrow when he stabbed himself. Guess the genjutsu novice had noticed. "Back again, I see," Makoto drawled, taking stock of his recovery and looking out at the sky. The man was pleased to feel that he had recovered a second wind. His chakra was fairing much better, being stable and no longer nearly drained. The sky also revealed that night was only a couple of hours away. Seemed they'd both been distracted for quite some time. "Would you like to talk again now that you've walked off your restlessness?"

[Haku]

Haku's world went faded away before his eyes and a sensation of alternating pain and numbness throbbed through his left arm. The next thing he notice was he was so tired he could hardly stay standing up right. It felt like he had been walking for hours or days straight with out rest. Haku slumped towards the ground his knees hitting the rocky surface but he managed to right himself before his face smashed into the dirt. His hands shot out to catch his fall forward the wounded one moving slightly slower and with a tingling pain shooting through the arm and hand.

It felt like the ground was spinning beneath him and it was making him a little dizzy with the swaying. Slowly Haku open one eye and tensed for any attack that might be forth coming. Haku realized with a sense of startled shock that he wasn't on the forest path in fact he didn't appear to be any where near the path he so clearly saw only a moment ago. He looked up and opened both eyes looking around dazedly and very confusedly."what happened...i...I.. not sure?"Haku instantly focused on the speaker as he sat back and narrowed his eyes suspiciously."what do you mean my 'restlessness'? I wasn't restless." There was a clear annoyance in Haku's tone as well as a doubt and uncertainty." yes i would like to speak to you what was your family like do you have a mother and father who love you? Or are you like more and more of those i meet with one or both parents dead? Do you teach or are you content to be taught only? and do you like teaching?" Haku looked at the needle in his left wrist and carefully pulled out a small portable first aid kit and laid it out in front of himself.

The kit was home made and contained everything he would need to tend to to an injury quickly while on the road. His home kit was more extensive but this basic one would do in a pinch. The larger home kit could treat any thing from minor cuts to serous wounds and pretty much every thing in between. Haku flicked open the kit and leaned over it slightly screening it from view. It had two parts to it one for removing things from the wounds which contained a set of various tools including a pair of thick sheers and a set of tweezers both made of metal. Haku used his good hand and picked up the tweezers without looking at them. He used them with a deftness which told of how well he knew what he was doing.Haku gently gripped the needle to see if it would move. He then swiftly pulled out the needle and set it aside on the ground and put the tweezers back. Haku grabbed a gauze strip from the second part of the kit and held it to the now bleeding wound applying pressure with his good hand. Haku looked over and smiled somewhat sheepishly."Sorry it seems I hurt my self. I wounder how that managed to happen?" Haku looked at the man from his kneeling position on the ground and smiled brightly.

[Makoto Kiyoshi]

Makoto idly clenched a fist testing his strength and muscle control. There was a bit of stiffness lingering and his tendons creaked, but he had dealt with worse. His hands no longer shook in agitation as they when they held themselves up either. Slowly releasing the fist, his hand fell back to his lap as he gazed back out at the boy. There time together would have to come to a close soon. Night would soon be upon them in mere hours which would be sure to fly quickly should the two of them delve into conversation once more. However, Makoto was unsure if he should just leave the young man behind. For the gentle nature which he carried, the jounin wasn't above thinking and even expecting the boy to try following him should he try to return to Kumogakure.

If the boy was not so stubborn and such a glutton for punishment, then Makoto would have just attempted to talk sense and hope he understood. The jounin doubted that it would be so simple though. A small part of him did wonder if he could just trust the boy to not cause any disturbances. The more he toyed the the idea, the more ruthless his cynical side became. It had been quite sometime since he naively believed that people are basically good; that honor, courage and virtue meant everything. It didn't seem to be changing back to that either. Makoto wasn't even sure if he wanted to believe in it. Just because it sounded pretty didn't mean he should be lulled by it. He was to never again forget that even though a rose smelled fresh and looked deceptively beautiful, that hidden beneath were thorns.

"Restlessness, as in your urge to stomp blindly toward known enemy territory." Makoto stated bluntly as he watched the boy dress his wound. The jounin willingly left out the additional information of his genjutsu helping the boy wander aimlessly. The young man was probably well aware of that fact anyway, but Makoto didn't feel like volunteering the information regardless. "Perhaps you'd prefer calling it recklessness?" He added as an afterthought. As he raddled off questions, Makoto's stare moved away from the needle he worked to extract to his face. Those were personal questions. And the answers to them would rarely be shared even if Makoto saw the boy as a close friend. However, perhaps they could come to a middle ground.

"If I answered those questions, would you find yourself more inclined to travel to a village away from this area?" It would prevent more of those unfortunate occurrences that this boy seemed to attract to himself. Many other jounin in the village or near it, wouldn't be so generous with the 'passive' part of the 'passive aggression' Makoto had used.

[Haku]

Haku started to luagh it was a soft musicually femimine giggle that turned into a full laughing fit.He stopped his work and his eyes lit up as though he had heard something hilariously funny which he had."Your not my enemy nor my father's, I have no grudge against you that i know of. I don't fight I'm a healer, remember. I fix wounds, i don't cause them." Slowly his mirth died down as he spoke normally. Haku left out the part where if he had been Zabuza's enemy they more then likely wouldn't have been talking, at this length, he was trained to attack and kill what ever his feeling to the contrary. The man would be looking at the wrong end of his powerful ice. Haku looked up and searched the man's eyes for emotion and pain concern shining in his eyes." I don't walk blindly anywhere, there is nothing blind about me. Recklessness is the choice that put's you endangers you or the one's you love. I would never ever endanger the ones I call my loved ones." Haku's stared levely and met his eyes with a frosty look. It changed instant as he turned back to his own work. His eyes took on a look of deep concentration and worry as he carefully looked the injury over.

" You are hurt i can see it in your eyes. I want to help you heal if i can." He offered as an explanation as to why he asked such probing questions of the man when he saw the reaction that the question had on him. Slowly Haku shook his head. He really couldn't just leave it now. "No, I'm afraid not. I need supplies and my father wants them from that village so who am i to question it." Haku shrugged as if he had no choice in the matter."His wish is my command." He smiled softly from under his hair. Haku worked to try and stop the blood that welled up as he removed the long pointed needle with was pointed at both ends. He took the needle into his mouth and spoke around it as his hand applied pressure to the wound."This is not as easy as it looks" his mouth had muffled half the words of the sentence and he wondered what the man would do next.